The motivation was missing. Chores to do, assignments to complete, plans to make, and no energy to do any of it. There was only a void of darkness where there should have been inspiration, motivation, energy, or something else to get her moving. Instead, there was nothing. There was no way to get anything done in this state of mind or with this lack of energy. No amount of anxiety about the task could make her hands move to do the task. She was trapped within her own body once more.
Knowing wallowing would get her nowhere and how there was no way she would be doing anything she currently considered productive, she managed to get her feet moving in the direction of her room. She opened the door and closed it behind her, embracing the cool air from the fan and the darkness in the room. She approached the bed and laid down, resting her head against her pillow. She stared up at the ceiling and let her mind drift.
She lightly dozed for a time drifting in and out of consciousness. Eventually, she reached over to her desk, her fingers fumbling over her phone, and pulled it towards herself. She unhooked the charger and scrolled through the apps on the screen in search of anything to ignite dopamine within her brain. Some apps caused small bursts of dopamine while others did not. Those that did, she stayed on until the dopamine wore off. Anything that did not supply a happy hormone was passed over in search of the next hit.
This was the pattern that occurred as the hours passed by. Eventually, some energy had returned, but not a lot. She set down the phone and plugged the charge back into it, then let herself doze off once more. She slept for an hour before she awoke and sat up and climbed out of bed. She approached her desk, grabbed a paper and pen, and listed all of the tasks that she needed to complete and by what time or day she needed each task completed. The tasks due more urgently, she set before herself and contemplated which to do first and what she had the energy to tackle at the moment.
She left the room and entered the kitchen, checking the refrigerator for a snack. Upon finding one, she ate as she looked over her list of tasks. Making up her mind, she finished her snack and approached the first task.