She’s pawing at the door again
I can hear the whining
The sun’s not yet up
She doesn’t care
Nothing new
Dragging myself out of bed
Her whines increase at the sound
The door barely opened,
She jumps up at me
So excited to be held
Ready for food
I prepare her meal mechanically
Yet when I see her eat
The bowl on the floor is gone
Instead sits a plate at the table
A child sitting, stuffing her face
Eggs smearing every surface
She blinks up at me
With my hazel eyes
My freckled cheeks
My fair skin
My dark hair
My own baby girl
She must be real
In a blink she’s gone
Replaced by the puppy
The little chihuahua who won’t shut up
Still scarfing down the kibble
Never satisfied enough
Nothing new, nothing changed
Just the whining
From a dog
Not the child I crave
But someday soon
I’ll change that
I’ll still hear the whining
Never expect that to end
I’ll still prepare food
But it won’t be for a dog
Belonging to my Aunt
It’ll be for someone new
A baby girl wrapped in blue
For now I’ll practice on the dog
Just as I have before
I’ll feed her
and clean her
and hold her close
Until I can wait no more
A child someday soon
Whether adopted or blood attained
She will be mine
To care for, to love, to hold dear
Just a moment more
and she’ll be here
Just a moment more,
and she won’t disappear.