Quotes

Over the years I have collected and written down direct quotes from my siblings, parents, friends, and other special people in my life. Below are some of these quotes, which I plan to include in my novels voiced by particular characters inspired by the very same people from whom the quotes are from.

Note: these quotes came up in real conversation and no one was high or loopy, in case you were wondering. This is just how these people talk and think. Some are outrageous but this is who we are.

I have included who the quotes below are from after the quotes, but each person’s identity is not truly revealed. Instead, each person I have provided the quotes for has chosen a nickname to be called when I quote them outside of the characters who will use the same quotes in the novels. As time goes on, each quote that has been used in a novel will have a @ symbol and the novel or short story title next to the quote. More quotes will be added to the page as I continue to collect the quotes. For now, these are just some of the wonderful quotes I have saved from those I care about:

“Ya know what? Screw Logic. Kill him again” -Mory

“What is the quickest way to avoid a trap? Step directly into the trap because the sooner you get in, the sooner you get out. I didn’t say it was the best way. I said it was the quickest” -Mory

“You can’t facepalm someone else” -Em. “Try me” -Mory

“Food that person is trying to heat up is physically on fire…I think it’s still a little cold” -Mory

“Physics, you’re not a goat” -Blue. “Wanna bet? Is in a goat onesie” -Mory

“I have to go to Minecraft for real life” -Blue or Mory (unclear which of them said it)

“God is using the universe to play a giant game of minute to win it, at least, that’s what I’m guessing. I actually don’t know” -Mory

“For the last time, if you stab me I’m gonna die. So can you not?” -Mory

“Shut up and take my offering, says as passing food from one plate onto another plate” -Mory

“Do you trust me?” -Em. “No! But I’m going to anyway, so move over!” -Mory

“Flirt with my sister, you get more than a blister. Leave my sister alone, I don’t break your bone. Give my sister a bruise, a stomach you will lose. Leave my sister be, and your brain will be free” -Blue

“Keep it down, would you? We’re trying to hide here, not give ourselves away” -Mory

“When your cat stares off into the distance for three hours, do not worry. They are just rebooting” -Blue

“Here’s my tactical advice. Run in there and go stabby stab” -Mory

“Today I cannot even. So odd.” -Mory

“How am I supposed to know if this training is working?” -Em. “By the end of the day, if your face does not feel like it’s broken, then you’re probably doing it wrong” -Blue

“Fuzzy Butterfingers! I do not know the man! ” -Mory

“Bring food for money and drinks” -Em

“Person A. I have a plan. Person B. Does it involve rubber ducks, a water gun, and fifty pounds of Gatorade? Person A. …no” -Blue

“I lost my appetite” -Blue. “Well, you better find it before it gets even hungrier” -Em

“The house might explode, just letting you know. You should probably check on that” -Mory

“If a bear can wear a tutu, I can wear this hat!” -Blue

“You steal his popsicle, you go to the hospital” -Blue “No. You steal his popsicle, he gonna ask you ‘why?'” -Mory

“When you’re trying to sleep but the world is dying around you, chaotic screaming heard all around” -Mory

“Demonic screeching and crying buckets, can I do that yet?…………….No. Why not? We’re in effing school!” -Mory

“Might as well play Jumanji and see how that turns out” -Blue

“Math be like: ‘If God casts Satan out of heaven at 12 o’clock, and the Lord of darkness falls at a speed of X, how long is it until Lunchtime?’ hashtag relateable hashtag math” -Blue

“We’re all going to die soon. You’re just closer to it than most” -Mory

“Oh my gosh, could you actually not?” -Blue

“Listen, this is Texas. If the snakes, poison ivy, and cacti don’t get you, the guns and chainsaws will” -Blue. “You’re thinking of Australia” -Mory. “Yeah, that one too” -Blue

“You think you have heated it up enough? I just want it to melt. The ice is literally on fire, how long have you been doing this? Three hours. How has it not melted? What temperature do you have it at? About the heat of the sun. What the hell?” -Mory

“That’s like meeting the dentist at the eye doctor’s who is talking to the tooth fairy in the North Pole while painting hearts on eggs for St Patrick’s day” -Mory “Very unlikely?” -Em. “Ya think?” -Blue

“For the love of Mr. E, watch your back! -Mory

“That is offensive!” -Mory. “Good! Be offended!” -Blue

“If you steal something, you fight in the fight pit. If there’s a fight, you get put into the fight pit. If you get caught lying, you do fifty jumping jacks” -Blue

“Physics talking to Buoyancy. When you break up with your boyfriend, but your boyfriend is Gravity and so you’re dying in space. Physics!!! Why are you being morbid today? If you love me, let me go, but you’re still talking to Gravity and he actually does love you. Physics!” – Mory

“What is it with you and slurping today? Slurping sound continues for a bit longer then stops. Do you think I care? Smirking emoji” -Mory

“What are you doing? Are you dying? Stop dying on my carpet. I just had it cleaned” -Mory

“Gravity, stop touching my stuff!” -Mory

“Do you have a license for this?” -Em. “You need a license?” -Mory

“Holds up a spear and a knife. I have a long knife and a very short sword” -Blue

“Cats will accept your kisses. Ketchup included” -Blue

“In class today we had to do a paper on the butterfly effect…….I destroyed a city with a rock.” -Mory

“Why is there a penguin in the fire? It’s blue fire, it’s fine. What do you mean it’s blue fire it’s fine? It’s blue fire, it’s cold. Fire’s not cold. Feel it, it’s cold. I’m not gonna feel the fire. Just feel the fire. Puts hand in fire and almost gets frostbite. Removes hand from fire, I think it’s fine. Told ya” -Blue

“The cat hit me!” -Mory. “With its tail or its paw?” -Blue. “…I don’t know! It was fuzzy and it hit my sock!” -Mory

“You always come up with the best phrases when we’re eating” -Em. “Yeah cause I talk the best when I’m eating” -Mory

“I used to be able to come up with the proper vocabulary words. What is High School doing to my brain!!! F-you high school!!!” -Mory “What if there was a school named F.U. High School?” -Em

“I need to know; do these cookies taste good!?” -Mory

“My brain is currently the size of a walnut” -Blue

“My mind is Luna Lovegood” -Blue

“You know what animals on the main land look like, right? Yeah. If you see one bigger than normal… run” -Blue

“Mory-Anne looking at the room. Fiona… Veronica…Snow White…am I in Shreck three!?” -Mory

“Oh great, the dire bear is black. We’re all gonna die” -Blue

“Why isn’t patience a concept? Because patience is a virtue” -Em

“You touch my nose I smacky you” -Blue

“Stop stealing my beans! I’ve had enough of your bean stealing!” -Blue

“Elijah is my spirit animal” -Mory

“Was bitten by a radioactive wolf, gets the powers of a camel” -Mory

“Today is Friday, which means today is red, which represents the oil used to cook French fries” -Blue

“Hi. Here’s a worm to eat your shade. Now have a great day and go do something with your life.” -Blue

“When your sister comes in for a hug, you let her” -Mory

“Hold still little miss hotdog” -Mory

“Hi, yes I would like to order some hockey without the ice, football without the turf, soccer without the ball, and I would like softball without the bat.” -Mory. “That last one can be arranged, but first I need a few gorillas.” -Blue

“You know I used to think of Death as an old friend, then I realized she was really young and she didn’t come to my birthday party…so we’re no longer friends….. friendship has officially ended with Death, my new best friend is Chaos.” -Blue

“Don’t mind my keyboard abuse, just melee foxing” -Blue

“If I can hear singing in the air then so can the bears. And they really don’t like singing” -Blue

“How many popcorn containers have you had?” -Mory. “It Is an infinite refillable popcorn box, you don’t count such things. But to answer your question, 15” -Blue

“No matter how good you think you do, someone could always roll a natural 20 against you” -Blue

“What’s with the awkward donkey?” -Em. “You mean the unicorn?” -Mory. “Is that what that is?” -Em

“If you are strong enough anything is a weapon, even this couch, you picking it up would throw them off enough, hitting them with it would really mess them up.” -Blue

*talking about a mascot suit and putting it through the washing machine, then letting it air dry* “Great, now we have to put the dead body through the water death trap and set it on fire” -Mory

“I want to go full barbarian, though” -Blue

“Statue of Liberty, the torch in her hand is a machine gun, and is constantly taking selfies” -Mory

“Eagle has a flamethrower. America strikes again” -Mory

“She did not have breakfast because she is a chicken, and that is to say a silly goose.” -Blue

“The fire likes when people acknowledge its presence, so if you just give it a gentle pat then it will be happy to help. You want me to pat the FIRE so it will help me? If you don’t it will burn you. It will burn me anyway. Only if you keep talking about it like that, do you want to get healed or would you rather be dead due to the poison? Healed. Then pat the fire” -Blue

“If you find me at a bar I won’t be drinking alcohol, you will find me drinking apple juice” -Blue

“If that bugger was any closer he would be able to smell me and then he would probably rip my arm off” -Blue. “They are just such adorable creatures; you want to pinch their chubby little cheeks” -Mory

“You ever been in a bar fight with a leprechaun? They fight dirty.” -Blue

“Can you get copyrighted by God?” -Mory

“Let it go, let it go, I don’t want to answer the phone right now. Let it go, let it go, I really need to take a nap. I don’t care what they’re going to say. It’s not my phone. Your emails are annoying anyway. Slurp.” -Mory

“Sounds like count Dracula trying to be Cajun” -Mory. “Can I call BS on that statement?” -Blue

“Coconut is a mammal” -Blue. “No” -Mory

“There was an old woman who went to the beach because she wanted a peach. I don’t know why she swallowed a peach, but she went to the beach.” -Blue

“Everybody was [COVID] fighting, and those germs were fast as lightning, and it was a little bit frightening, but vaccines work with expert timing. No they don’t” -Blue

“Hold on, let me swallow real quick then I’ll continue choking” -Mory

“Poor people have this. Rich people need it. It’s a cactus. It’s the perfect thing for the rich man’s collection of exotic plants” -Blue

“Too lazy to do manual labor, so do manual labor. Cuz logic.” – Mory

“Don’t smack your head up against the cabinet. What did the cabinet ever do to you?” -Mory

“Bashing my head up against the wall” -Mory

“Good news is it’s not on fire. Bad news is it’s not on fire” -Blue

“Not only are the polar ice caps melting, they’re setting the bears on fire” -Blue

“I’m lighting them on fire. They look cozy.” -Mory

“Are we just gonna destroy the universe? Yep” -Mory

“Why do I have to call everything!?” -Mory

“Fortune: all things come to him who waits. I hope not, that means all good things and bad things happen at the same time, so my house burns down but not at the same time. I really don’t want to deal with a black hole in the living room. This fortune is the connection to the multiverse” -Blue

“I don’t stuff myself until I’m sick. I stuff myself until I’m full.” -Blue

“Is there any fridge in that meat?” -Mory

“What can I say except Corona! Keeping you all in your homes. Hey it’s okay, it’s okay. Corona!” -Blue

“This is a war zone. Let me know if you see a fly” -Mory

“Would you like a cup of tea?” -Em. “I’d like a cup of tea with a side of murder” -Mory

“Stop pouring your secrets down the drain! People reuse everything that goes down the drain!” -Mory

“You know what happens in the dark right? Chaos!” -Blue

“Now let’s see you try to analyze the nonexistent meaning behind the color of the curtains.” -Mory

“The most beautiful people die in marvel, yeah like Loki and Thor’s hair…What, tell me I’m wrong.” -Blue

“I might steal your nuggets” -Blue. “If you steal my nuggets you will die” -Mory “Death comes to us all” -Blue

“Hypothetically, if a plane were to have infinite gas and flew at the speed to where the sun is always above the plane, are they forever stuck in that day?” -Blue. “No. You are the bringer of the day. You’re freaking Apollo now.” -Mory

“Why do they feel the need to make these. Who thought this was a good idea. I mean whoever did doesn’t know their dance moves because he is doing it wrong.” -Blue

“You feel like cheesecake.” -Mory

“I can’t; the phones over there.” -Mory

“I’m a piece of chocolate today, I don’t know if I should go outside today.” -Mory

“Also rain, that was fun.” -Blue

“It’s gonna rain, I can smell it. ” -Blue

“Contrary to Grandpa’s story I did not cling to the ceiling, I went to the floor.” -Blue

“I’m disappointed in you! We made this! Not you, but we made this!” -Mory

“Does everyone have a character sheet?” -Blue “Nobody has any dice” -Em

“What’s your blood type?” -Blue. “Texan” -Em. “Not helping” -Blue

“Hey slurpy.” -Blue. “Mom, apparently I’m a cold diabetic drink that will kill you and give you a brain freeze before killing you, now. Or was it called a slushy? We haven’t had slushies in a while.” -Mory

“If you want a symbol of death you can have a crow. They’re loud and obnoxious, I prefer grackles myself but you get crows” -Blue

“Sorcerers’ magic comes from their heritage, wizards are nerds” -Blue

“Lunch is a fend for yourself” -Mory “That does not mean murder someone” -Blue

“Pain pain go away, go kill someone else today.” -Mory

“80% of you is water, Albert Einstein says. Physics states that 90% of you is empty space.” -Blue

“It’ll be as simple and uneventful as a star exploding” -Em

“How do you think I’ll die?” -Em. “Death by eggnog” -Mory

“Whenever Christians have a holiday they will eat to excess; other religions starve themselves. Jews have a holiday, they starve themselves. Hindus have a holiday, they starve themselves. It is almost like Christians have looked through the bible to find places to eat to excess. Alright, what have you got for me? Well, Jesus had a very big meal and went out into the desert for 40 days. Wait go back, what was the first part? He had a big meal. Let’s focus on that day, what else you got? Well, he was killed on a cross. Hmm, tough one, let’s put a picture of a cross on a bun, and we will eat hot cross buns all day. And then he was raised from the dead three days later. Actually, I don’t want to hear the story we have already made our mind; we will hide chocolate in the garden, and eat till we’re sick” -Blue

“That’s a continent, you dumb dumb” -Blue

“Technically yes but actually no” -Mory

“Someone does something completely off the plan. The time for plans is over, it’s time for BS” -Blue

“What have we told you about your mental sanity?” -Blue

“Hey Em, your cup is sticky, I am drinking from it but it is sticky” -Blue

“I would break the fourth wall, but I don’t want to. Oh wait…” -Mory

“I don’t have the patience to move patients” -Mory

“I’ve been confused for a fictional character” -Mory

“You seriously think that burning a ship will prevent me from using it? You’re dumber than you look” -Mory

“You should work on your self-esteem and believe in yourself more” -Blue

“Double snazzy shades” -Blue

“I’m not clumsy! The floor and furniture want hugs at high velocity and the walls teleport” -Mory

“Horses, hay, and wet doritos” -Em

“You sound like you’re planning someone’s demise” -Em

“I am the emotional support goose!” -Mory

“You’re going to look me in the eye and tell me that I’m wrong!?” -Mory

*in Scottish accent* “I am going to eat your face” -Mory

“I accidentally put sugar in my tea instead of salt and now it tastes sickening. Do you want it?” -Mory

“Mum, can I eat the sun?” -Mory

“Any magic box I would get from the car would be my phone” -Mory

“The shower won’t stop dripping. Won’t they charge us extra for the leaking shower?”-Em “Yes, they’ll be like ‘Why is our water bill so high!? Dead pans and gestures to the water park connected to the hotel they are in” -Mory

“I can not wait until society has collapsed, and I can take a car down these roads with little concern for laws with my minimum knowledge of how a car works” -Blue

“I like all of the characters in…hold on,” he says holding up a finger before rolling his wrists in a backward circle “back it up. I like most of the characters in…” -Blue

“That’s it! I’m becoming an ostrich” -Blue

“Hold this” -Mory. “What is this?” -Em. “It’s a cup” -Mory. “What’s in it?” -Em. “Root beer” -Blue. “The death of my enemies” -Mory. “Smells like root beer” -Blue

That’s what I do I yell at Em. It’s therapeutic, I would suggest it but that’s my thing, so back off.” -Mory

*in Scottish accent* “Popcorn is for boy scouts because it’s manly! For manly men, like stabbing you in the face, with a pitchfork! That’s pink and covered in glitter, with stickers” -Mory

“Imma take a coma” -Mory

“I need to put my eyes in” -Mory

“You just messed up. You gave me something that could be considered a weapon and expect me not to do something stupid! You were wrong!” -Mory

“I’m gonna go eat a pig for reasons” -Mory

“Toast eats people. He’s hungry. You’ve got to give him toes and your knees.” -Mory

“Imma eat the TV” -Mory

“I’m the real-life Rumplestilskin” -Mory

“Sometimes the scariest villains are the ones who have already won” -Blue

“I did a dumb” -Mory

“I have twenty dollars in pennies” -Mory

“Time and I argue all the time” -Em

“Oh, I’m not funny. It’s my siblings who come up with the funny stuff. I just write them down and repeat them” -Em

“If you’re a seagull, you’re illegal” -Blue

“Apparently they genderized buttons. On men’s clothes buttons are on the right. Buttons for women are on the left.” -Em “Wait, girl’s buttons are on the left????” -Blue

“Our cats are as if they are a middle-aged couple who have moved into an apartment, and the deliquent teenager that hangs out on their fire escape” -Blue

“Can I just put a bed in my pocket to throw at people later?” -Mory

“Just got to the Whataburger, and I am starting to feel a bit bad for the workers and the sudden influx of 59 students to feed” -Blue

“I’m eating Blue’s anxiety and it tastes like f-ing pills! Oh, hi, Em!” -Mory

“I’m running on pure spite” -Mory

“I got in a fight with a cupcake” -Mory

“I usually don’t have to actually act on my threats but here we go anyway. Let’s see how this turns out” -Em

“Here in Texas the weather depends on the mood of the day” -Em

“So there I am, minding my own business, digging a hole. And I’m casually threatening your future girlfriend. Talking about how I’m going into forensics, so I know how to hide a body.”-Mory “So Mory has stated that she has threatened my future girlfriend while digging a hole. The problem is I don’t know any of my friends that have been around her while she was digging.” -Blue “Now I have already threatened you, you just haven’t received it yet. We haven’t gotten there yet. Now if you were to hypothetically propose, I would be there to help you hide the body. Now, I don’t know why there is a body, it’s probably your competition. But they’re dead now, so no worries.”-Mory

“I needed time to grow and I’m still underdeveloped” -Blue

“Why does my chicken taste like strawberries?” -Mory

“Imma be like Alice and embrace the malice…I meant to say madness” -Marie

“Back in my day, we didn’t have pizza because Italians weren’t invented yet” -Mory

“There’s no way to swim wrong except drowning” -Blue

“How would a handicapped mermaid even swim, the only way you could be handicapped as a mermaid is if your fins were broken, and in that case you would not swim, you would just sit there” -Blue

“Crab is the ultimate form of evolution, peak evolution if you will” -Blue

“Why you gotta yabba dabba do that?” -Bomb

“I slammed into the door and it was funny” -Mory

“The bad thing is I’m currently running on autopilot, so no thoughts, head empty, only murder, theft, and the occasional biscuit. Then there’s bagels. Bagels are even better.” -Bomb

“Hold my shotgun as I pull out my second shotgun” -Blue

“We can’t blame a necromancer’s puppet for things it doesn’t have the mental capacity to do” -Mory

“I don’t want drugs.” -Bomb “But drugs are good for you! Especially the ones detrimental to your health!”-Mory

“Dirty ragamoni” -Em

“Everyone outside of Texas always asks ‘where’s your hat, where’s your boots?’ They’re back at the ranch with my cattle, my eagle, and my fifty guns since you can’t bring ’em on the plane. But I snuck a few of ’em anyway but I can’t bring ’em out to show you ’cause, you know, laws.” -Blue

“Sorry to ruin everybody’s beach day, but I murdered a mermaid” -Maddy

“I commit sushi” -Bomb

“Has anyone ever wondered what it would be like to be a toaster?” -Bomb

“That’s a skill we call thievery” -Blue

“I love you too but I was talking to the small child” -Marie

“Yelling at Em from across the theater for getting a drink order wrong, but nobody else in the theater can hear me” -Mory

“But Em, I want to sneeze in your general direction” -Mory

“Smell my failure” -Maddy

“I don’t know if I can eat anymore” *says while buttering a biscuit* -Marie

“Anxiety filled balls of musical talent” -Kai

“Blackmailing the government! We have a plan for taking over the world!” -Kai

“Batterieeeeeees, beyond power of green” -Blue

“I’m very fond of your flesh bag” -Bomb

“I’m going to bonk you but with my head” -Blue

“If she whispers she gets louder” -Green

“A hundred bad days means you’re worken’ at Chucky’s” -Mory

“Saratoga? Sarah’s in a toga?”-Bomb “No, Sarah’s actually murdering people in back alleyways and drinking their blood.”-Mory “In a toga?”-Bomb

“It just meant coke” -Kai

“It’s a material bomb made by a material girl in a material world” -Marie

“By the rules of the game, the game doesn’t end when someone dies” -Blue

“Stick a fork in me, I don’t have any green” -Blue

“When was California even an option?” -Blue

“This is mine now from mine.com” -Green

“Communism is not allowed at the table” -Mory “You mean communism is not allowed at Our table” -Blue

“Change my diaper or perish, you mortal” -Bomb

“Life is beating up Understanding with pancakes” -Green

“Fear the deer” -Blue

“Counter offer: no” -Mory

“Mom said that was just the medicine wearing off but I’m pretty sure that was my will to live” -Mory

“We’re as far Southern as you can go. The only further South you can go is Laredo before you’re in Mexico” -Em

“Shiny, sparkly, and ready to party” -Mory

“Perish, you fool” -Bomb

“Food and clothes do not mix” -Mory

“Don’t even bring up the fire extinguisher” -Blue

“Late wife. She just hasn’t shown up yet. No, she’s dead” -Bomb

“But did you die?” -M

“I’m dead. The stuffed animals are stealing my air!” -M

“Imagine that! My child is not in pajamas” -D

“You’re an idiot. How can I help?” -Nana

“I need a truck to match my attitude, one that I need to jump to get into. I need an F250 with like a 20-inch lift” -Marie

“Coffee fixes everything. Feeling stressed? Have a cup of coffee. Feel depressed? Cup of coffee. Tired and need to wake up? Coffee. Want to relax? Coffee. Eventually, it gets to the point where it’s coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee” -D “George of the jungle style”-M “Exactly” -D

“He’s already dead!” -Blue “That doesn’t mean Alton won’t kick him while he’s down. He’ll even poke ’em with a stick” -M “Then he’ll insult their mother” -Blue

“Hufflepuffs are just Slytherin who knows how not to get caught” -Marie

“We don’t lose to fate, fate loses to us” -Green

“The frost bites, I bite it back” -Bomb

“Why does he have a chin?” -Maddy

“Diogee! Get out of the trash” -Mory

“I am not a patient woman” -Em

“I can’t die; I am Death” -Maddy

“I’m not violently attacking you” -Mory “Yes she was” -D

“Poor baby, her apple was cold and smelled” -M

“I like my octopus” -D

“If I’m gonna get in trouble for something, I want to be in trouble for something I did not something I’m gonna do” -Mory

“Where are you mentally, today?” -Kai

“My favorite condiment is confusion and toothpaste” – Bomb

“You wanna see my birth certificate? JK, it’s on a stone tablet” -Maddy

“Glitter made of razor blades” -D

“I’m ready to beat the Zaragoza out of Zaragoza” -Mory

“I don’t remember placing a doppelganger in San Antonio” -Blue “Does that mean you placed dinner around town?” -Mory “No comment” -Blue

“I believe what you’re trying to say is: try not to panic but we’re all gonna die” -Em

“Arthur needs to come back from his watery death nap” -Em

“Go exist somewhere else” -Mory

“Then I charged it and now it’s better” -Mory

“I don’t have crushes. I have squishes. I want to be friends with people” -Mory

“There’s a slow poke in the fast lane” -Em “They are going to speed limit” -Mory

“The only time that I get excited about numbers is whenever it is showing low gas prices” -Em

“Obviously I’m not going to take something that’s good for me and necessary for my survival. Are you out of your mind?” -Mory

“The world’s burning and on fire and you have the audacity to tell me not to go to sleep?” -Mory

“Hi this is Mory and you have one of five reasons for calling me. 1) You know me and want to contact me. 2) You don’t know me and want to sell me something. 3) You don’t know me and called this number accidentally. 4) You know me and accidentally called. 5) None of this is real and it’s all a hypothetical situation.” – Mory

“Putting your food in my blizzard!…..I meant putting your stuff in my food.” – Mory

“Ah yes, Don’t mind me as I casually get smacked in the head by a table” -Em

“I’m about ready to invent Thanksgiving music just to throw at people at 20 mph” – Mory

“We’re going to die, what do you want to touch next?” – Mory

“Shaving off time.”-Em “Dang Emma! Does he need a haircut?!?!”-Mory “Yes, put that in quotes.”-Em “lol, you thought I wouldn’t do this, but I did. Ha!”-Mory

“They’re the buds of blue because I’m called blue and they’re my buds. Corva get out of my face!” – Blue

“They always say nice guys finish last who knew what extended the dogs too” -Marie

“If you’re on the brink of death you get 5% off on our car insurance” -Maddy

“Imma fight some children” – Marie

“Oh no, effort, my weakness!” -Maddy

“That is a sophisticated man right there…he uses duck tape to fix his life problems.” – Mory

“Being helpful, what a concept!” -Mory

“Well death is the obvious choice.”-Mory

“Existing hurts” – Mory

“Scouts and physics. Murder.” – Bomb

“All things are brought to justice in the light” -Blue

“It’s/you’ve been rotated” – Bomb

“Blue, why won’t you drive me over to Del Mar at 3:00 a.m. so that I can get my beans? I left the beans in the Del Mar fridge and I need to get them before they spoil cuz if they spoil they’ll explode and it’s not very helpful. You need to get me to Del Mar by 3:00 a.m. so the building doesn’t blow up because of beans. I need my beans Blue. I don’t want to eat them, I want to explode them, not at Del Mar though going there oh my gosh” -Bomb

“Oh my gosh, I hate you. I will bury you in the backyard with my hamster” – Bomb

“…a light scraping of a knife against my face” – Em

“Go have fun and, I don’t know, strangle someone for me” – Mory

“I’m going to hit the snooze on my consciousness.” – Blue

“Let’s not plot one another demises” -M

“Louisiana to Texas, where we go from who dat to hey y’all” -M

“Physics tells me to stop consuming flowers at an alarming rate” -Maddy

“Everyone needs a back scratch at least once a day” – Grumpy Grandpa

“Doors and creepy stuff” – Mory

“Here’s some trash cans, don’t get in it” – Mory

“You see, when the school you go to is in another dimension, it kinda takes a while to get there” – Mory

“Knee butt someone in the face” – Mory

“Well, come over here and pass out” -Blue

“The words exist but they don’t function” – Blue

“It’s so small a cell needs a microscope to see it.” – Mory

“It’s so long a mile is a millimeter in comparison.” – Mory

“D, why won’t you let me drive the car?” – Green, “For our safety” – D, “But but my mental happiness” – Green, “Your mental happiness can go sit in the backseat” -D

“Em, your hands don’t look like they were dying eggs. They look like you were dying people” -Green, “Understandable, have a nice day” -Em

“Hit em with a boat and put em in a mallet” – Mory

“Google says we’re never gonna make it. Google is also a monkey” – Mory

“Woman is not a unit of measurement” -Bomb

“If we could find any pudding on campus, it would be in the bookstore” -Mory

“Two birds, one stone. Technically three but we don’t count that one. I don’t even know what bird it was, we just killed it” -Mory

“I don’t like breathing. It’s inconvenient” -Mory

“You can kill me on your own time. This is my time” -Mory

“Where’s the ice cream? I only see bananas!” -Mory

“Those who know history have a choice whether or not to repeat it” -Em

“We’re gonna make you feel pretty cuz apparently you’re not feeling pretty” -Em

“There is no such thing as a perfect country. There are countries out there that are better at being as close to a Utopia as possible, but there are still some flaws that need to be addressed within those countries. There is no such thing as a perfect country. If someone thinks that they are living in a perfect country they are either blind, don’t see the flaws, or the issues are being hidden from them” -Em

“If there is one thing I learned in chemistry, it’s that chemists are idiots! They lick everything! If you look at the description of everything from compounds to elements, they all have a description of the flavor! There’s a reason why they don’t live long!” -Mory

“That’s the spot that makes her violently lick herself” -M

“I stole the oyster” -Mory

“Obviously I’m not going to take something that’s good for me and necessary for my survival. are you out of your mind?” -Mory

“Why is my emotions the need to sleep?” -Mory

“The world’s burning and on fire and you have the audacity to tell me not to go to sleep!?” -Mory

“Understanding is having trouble understanding” -Kai

“Anyway, I am dead. Welcome to your ghost Uber” -Kai

“Why does understanding sound like a hyena?” -Kai

“I do eat children, though, so a jackel would make sense” -Kai

“And there’s a noise. I think we’re being kidnapped” -Kai

“I love how angry she looks, like, “I’m not angry at you honey, I’m angry at the world. The world can burn, I just want to get out of this chair.” Has been tied to the chair for hours and talking to someone who they are fond of.” -Mory

“They always say that. One day I wanna see a villain get the thing that will give them the power and instead of them getting big or ultra powerful, I wanna see them just explode.” -Mory

“You jumped and by your amazing well built thighs and calves you landed safely” -Green

“Chaos holding on to death and dragging her around” -Bomb

“just because the heart wants does not mean that you have to give it what it wants” -Em

“So they’re lying to your face” -Blue “and making it harder than it needs to be” -M

“He needs to vent it now so he won’t be murdering people later. And I would help him” -Mory

“Stop moving my cup” -Blue

“I want to be the weighted blanket” -Bomb

“Gather around children, as I tell you the tale of my people. It all started on a day when I murdered Edgar Allan Poe…” -Blue

Crazy plus crazy makes sane, right? That’s how it works! -M

“Like reciting Shakespeare while telling someone what ice cream you want” -Blue

“Anti jello apple sauce” -Mory

“We’re playing werewolf and to eject people we call it “bread of shame”. So if we vote someone out then they get “the bread of shame” thrown at them” -Mory

“You have been beaten to death by breadsticks” – Mory

“why can’t we have friendly competition? America” -Blue

“well that’s a quick way to get thrown out of the country” -Mory

“I’m sorry. This was a monarchy? whoops! democracy taking over” -Mory

“I will move over here and be tangy” -Blue

“murder sandwhich” -D

“murder is delicious” -Mory

“he can eat a rubber boot” -Mory

“Octonaughts roll out! I have failed as a fan of both” -Mory

“She’s searching for answers to questions she doesn’t remember asking” -Em

“Grumpy old people don’t like listening but can’t stop complaining about younger people” -Em

“If you’re losing, add water” -Green

“Do you like an organized kitchen? Well we don’t care! Call us now and we’ll absolutely bomb your kitchen! You can tell us exact ways on how you want your dishes stacked and we’ll ignore you! Call 888-218-8828 and we’ll ignore you! Is this a real number? do we care? No! Call in the next 5 minutes and someone might actually answer! To immediately hang up on you, nobody cares” -Mory

“I wish to open the funny letter” -Bomb

“That’s a telegraph from boring people. I don’t like it. Take it away” -Mory

“Be the Disney princess” -Bomb

“Forehead nose” -Bry, “Stinkin thinkin” -M

“It’s not kicking, I’m footing him” -Bomb

“I’m going to Google it but my phone is being a menace to society” -Estelle

“I am out the door and you are in the sky” -Estelle

“You have to have a permit for breathing; that’s your birth certificate. Mine should be revoked” -Estelle

“Put it down, shaky finger!” -Estelle

“Death of someone’s sanity and arts and crafts apparently” -Estelle

“I have the mental capacity of an embryo” -Estelle

“Sir, why is there a forklift hanging from a bungee cord over a 2-foot wide orphanage inside of a warehouse? When exactly was this warehouse established?” -Bomb

“Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The question” -Em

“It’s basically a he said she said situation. Did anyone say anything, at this point? Who knows?” -Em

I’ve had too much depresso espresso today -Em

‘We need a truck’ ‘Eighteen wheeler, pickup, or tow?’ ‘Pickup’ -Em

“what does this look like?” “This looks like I’m falling for an idiot” -Em

“We fixed the trashcan. No more trashcan button in this car” -M

“Shuffle of shame” -Mory

‘Why were our ancestors the ones on the night watch?’ -Blue, ‘Mine were’ -Em, ‘We have the same ancestors!’ -Blue

“good evening, madam, how art thou?” -Bomb

“Family means we get to kill each other in video games? -Mory

“I know we want to go on a killing spree but we can’t right now” -Kai

“That stop sign is a liar” -Kai

“The emotions are not coming from death. They’re coming from someone who is alive” -Aunt Janie

“Stupid Game!” -Aunt Janie

Let me feed you!!!!!!! -Em

“… Innocent H” -Em, “what are non Innocent H’s?”-David, “are they the silent H’s?”

Mum had to give Dad like 7 kisses to get him to admit defeat. One such sounded like “I noticed a distinct lack of communication about this in the group chat.” Which led to another one before mum asked him to make her some eggs. There was also another memorable note of “So we’re going to have long white fur around on top of the long black fur we currently have.” – Mory

The professor in the fool what what else is there to add to that like I don’t I don’t get what you’re trying to get from me -Blue

Now I don’t feel like murdering them, thanks Renee – Blue

I’m coming for you and your hair -Marie

I have determined the birds of too strong so I’m going to go to the sewers and kill things for a few hours -Blue

“That is a grave digger. They’re coming to kill us” -Kai

“The necromancer couldn’t find my village. The wuss” – Mory

“I like watching you suffer” -Mory, “at least you’re being honest” -Kai

“Understanding is being bullied by Physics” -Kai

“The voices, they demand blood” -Bomb, “Has the coastal blood center been calling you too?” -Mory “the voices emitting from your block demand blood sacrifices” -Bomb

“Your blood sacrifices aren’t sufficient” – Bomb

“If you do not wish to be castrated you will remove your hand this instant” -Em

“Would you like to be castrated?” – Em

“I don’t want people to be able to see what kind of chips I like!” – Mory

“I gotta get off the money” -Maddy

“Put two dead guys in a room, something’s gonna happen and it’s gonna be funny” -Mory

“Worst Rumpelstiltskin deal ever” -Blue

“Watching y’all shoot each other isn’t as fun as actually shooting each other.” *about archery tag* – Mory

“I look like chicken” – Mory

“The sun is turning on” – Mory

“The fat, blubbery flop flops” *referring to seals* – Mory

“Anna always gets paid, because she wants your money.” – Blue

“His personality is SWORD” – Blue